added 2007 Fri Jun 15 10:15:08 by ind06
WASHINGTON, DC - In a total buzzkill, the Senate on Friday passed some seriously lame legislation by a vote of 89-7, one week after the House was a complete tool and approved the same stupid bill.
WASHINGTON, DC - In a total buzzkill, the Senate on Friday passed some seriously lame legislation by a vote of 89-7, one week after the House was a complete tool and approved the same stupid bill.
added 2007 Thu Jun 14 22:47:23 by Neophile
Disappointed with the season finale, Stephen comes up with his own Sopranos ending.
Disappointed with the season finale, Stephen comes up with his own Sopranos ending.
added 2007 Thu Jun 14 8:55:08 by ind06
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - Pentagon officials today confirmed that a bunch of nerds have effectively seized control of Andrews Air Force Base using only laptops and some crap software they got off the internet.
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - Pentagon officials today confirmed that a bunch of nerds have effectively seized control of Andrews Air Force Base using only laptops and some crap software they got off the internet.
added 2007 Wed Jun 13 8:51:46 by ind06
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - President Bush has appointed Ben Thorstad as the nation's first Total F*cking Mess Czar. Thorstad will assume day-to-day oversight of the administration's current total f*cking messes and we be charged with planning and development of all future total f*cking messes.
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - President Bush has appointed Ben Thorstad as the nation's first Total F*cking Mess Czar. Thorstad will assume day-to-day oversight of the administration's current total f*cking messes and we be charged with planning and development of all future total f*cking messes.
added 2007 Wed Jun 13 6:11:34 by lenseview
What's car doing there that way? Absurdist, silly, incongruous imagining. Not for everybody.
What's car doing there that way? Absurdist, silly, incongruous imagining. Not for everybody.
added 2007 Tue Jun 12 10:05:07 by ind06
(Washington) There was great concern in many circles that the recent tension between American and Russia would be diffused during the G8 summit, but not to worry, the Cold War is coming back.
(Washington) There was great concern in many circles that the recent tension between American and Russia would be diffused during the G8 summit, but not to worry, the Cold War is coming back.
added 2007 Mon Jun 11 9:31:00 by ind06
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - The Atlantic Journal of Computational Chemistry released its ranking of the Top 100 Compounds of the Year today, with H2O, or common water, topping a list which included Hydrogen Chloride, Potassium and Iron Oxide.
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - The Atlantic Journal of Computational Chemistry released its ranking of the Top 100 Compounds of the Year today, with H2O, or common water, topping a list which included Hydrogen Chloride, Potassium and Iron Oxide.
added 2007 Sun Jun 10 10:02:29 by ind06
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - Psychiatrists in select cities nationwide have reported a surge in post-melodramatic stress disorder cases following the 2004 release of Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom Of The Opera.
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland reporting - Psychiatrists in select cities nationwide have reported a surge in post-melodramatic stress disorder cases following the 2004 release of Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom Of The Opera.
added 2007 Sat Jun 9 9:14:23 by ind06
"These constant hootenannings must stop," said Mayor Thomas Menino, an outspoken critic since the front doors of historic Faneuil Hall were taken off their hinges and laid in the street to provide a dancing surface during a particularly spirited jamboree three weeks ago.
"These constant hootenannings must stop," said Mayor Thomas Menino, an outspoken critic since the front doors of historic Faneuil Hall were taken off their hinges and laid in the street to provide a dancing surface during a particularly spirited jamboree three weeks ago.
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added 2007 Fri Jun 8 9:57:17 by ind06
AUGUSTA, ME - Dr. Matthew Berry, 58, prescribed dimmer lights for Taylor Murphy, 22, when Murphy saw the dermatologist Monday.
AUGUSTA, ME - Dr. Matthew Berry, 58, prescribed dimmer lights for Taylor Murphy, 22, when Murphy saw the dermatologist Monday.
added 2007 Thu Jun 7 23:31:24 by capnews
Rumsfeld had accused the other troop's leader of embezzling money earned at the last Boy Scout fundraiser to embellish the troop's meeting cabin.
Rumsfeld had accused the other troop's leader of embezzling money earned at the last Boy Scout fundraiser to embellish the troop's meeting cabin.
added 2007 Thu Jun 7 12:15:08 by ind06
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: with Doyle Redland reporting - Low level bag man Johnnie Kulo was at first devastated upon learning of his family's murder as payback for his questionable accounting.
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: with Doyle Redland reporting - Low level bag man Johnnie Kulo was at first devastated upon learning of his family's murder as payback for his questionable accounting.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 23:13:59 by lenseview
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
This guy's 'run down' car was stolen from a commuter parking lot. Here's his open letter to the (still at large) thief. It's pretty funny.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 10:47:00 by ind06
Dick Cheney's office announced that the Vice President has completed filming a segment for This Old House in which he demonstrates for homeowners how to build an undisclosed location all their own.
Dick Cheney's office announced that the Vice President has completed filming a segment for This Old House in which he demonstrates for homeowners how to build an undisclosed location all their own.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 10:47:00 by ind06
Dick Cheney's office announced that the Vice President has completed filming a segment for This Old House in which he demonstrates for homeowners how to build an undisclosed location all their own.
Dick Cheney's office announced that the Vice President has completed filming a segment for This Old House in which he demonstrates for homeowners how to build an undisclosed location all their own.
added 2007 Wed Jun 6 10:47:00 by ind06
Dick Cheney's office announced that the Vice President has completed filming a segment for This Old House in which he demonstrates for homeowners how to build an undisclosed location all their own.
Dick Cheney's office announced that the Vice President has completed filming a segment for This Old House in which he demonstrates for homeowners how to build an undisclosed location all their own.
added 2007 Tue Jun 5 10:07:21 by ind06
WASHINGTON (CAP) - The Department of Homeland Security has announced a joint effort with Crayola Inc. to revamp the current color-coded U.S. threat advisory system to create "a national framework and a disguisable vocabulary" so that terrorists will be less likely to ascertain the true threat level in the U.S.
WASHINGTON (CAP) - The Department of Homeland Security has announced a joint effort with Crayola Inc. to revamp the current color-coded U.S. threat advisory system to create "a national framework and a disguisable vocabulary" so that terrorists will be less likely to ascertain the true threat level in the U.S.
added 2007 Mon Jun 4 9:42:22 by ind06
BROOKFIELD, IL: Despite heartfelt pleas, Janice Petrone, a totally lame and uncool zookeeper at the Brookfield Zoo, repeatedly told a group of area sixth graders Monday that they were not allowed to ride on the backs of the western lowland gorillas.
BROOKFIELD, IL: Despite heartfelt pleas, Janice Petrone, a totally lame and uncool zookeeper at the Brookfield Zoo, repeatedly told a group of area sixth graders Monday that they were not allowed to ride on the backs of the western lowland gorillas.
added 2007 Sun Jun 3 10:26:50 by ind06
FLORENCE, Ala. (CAP) - The slaughter of Miss Piggy by an 11-year-old Alabama boy with a shotgun has led to a national debate over whether it's appropriate to gun down animals who wear jewelry and can speak French, even marginally.
FLORENCE, Ala. (CAP) - The slaughter of Miss Piggy by an 11-year-old Alabama boy with a shotgun has led to a national debate over whether it's appropriate to gun down animals who wear jewelry and can speak French, even marginally.
added 2007 Sat Jun 2 10:28:40 by ind06
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland Reporting - Scientists from around the world convened at the University of Zurich today to formally announce that their experimentation on mice has been motivated not by a desire to advance human knowledge but out of sheer hatred for the little rodents.
THE ONION RADIO NEWS: With Doyle Redland Reporting - Scientists from around the world convened at the University of Zurich today to formally announce that their experimentation on mice has been motivated not by a desire to advance human knowledge but out of sheer hatred for the little rodents.
added 2007 Fri Jun 1 9:25:04 by ind06
ATLANTA: Last week, after a reported 65 million Americans learned of the bipartisan immigration bill with the breaking news report "Mexicans Stay," it became apparent that the much- ballyhooed 24-second news cycle had come into its own.
ATLANTA: Last week, after a reported 65 million Americans learned of the bipartisan immigration bill with the breaking news report "Mexicans Stay," it became apparent that the much- ballyhooed 24-second news cycle had come into its own.
added 2007 Thu May 31 9:32:08 by ind06
WASHINGTON, DC: New data from the U.S. Commerce Department show that rich, buttery goodness beat out automobiles, timber, and crispety-crunchitiness as the country's most valuable commodity in fiscal year 2006.
WASHINGTON, DC: New data from the U.S. Commerce Department show that rich, buttery goodness beat out automobiles, timber, and crispety-crunchitiness as the country's most valuable commodity in fiscal year 2006.
added 2007 Wed May 30 8:42:28 by ind06
LOUISVILLE, KY The Kentucky Department of Motor Vehicles announced yesterday that the game of chicken will be added to the state's driver's-license road test, testing prospective motorists' ability to drive directly towards one another at an accelerating speed.
LOUISVILLE, KY The Kentucky Department of Motor Vehicles announced yesterday that the game of chicken will be added to the state's driver's-license road test, testing prospective motorists' ability to drive directly towards one another at an accelerating speed.
